Today's moment...
My son went to bed early today, so I decided to spend the extra time in the evening taking a nice, long bath. Lights off, except one candle. No music. I sat there for what seemed like forever, my thoughts drifting in and out of my mind until there were no thoughts left and my eyelids, then able to relax, slowly began to close. I found myself in that strange, in-between-sleep-and- awake stage where you know you are awake, you can hear what is going on around you, but at the same time you aren't really there. I felt peace....no worries....no tension in my body....nothing, just peace. I opened my eyes after a time and the thoughts came back, only this time they were quieter and kinder. I will have a good night's rest tonight. Thankful.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Perfect Moments: Chocolate
Today's moment....
After a routine day at home with my son, a little piece of chocolatey heaven to make the end of it sweet. Thank you to my husband who is thoughtful enough and has the foresight to buy me not one, but TWO, big organic, dark chocolate bars to hide away from Isaiah as a special..only for me treat:). Nice.
After a routine day at home with my son, a little piece of chocolatey heaven to make the end of it sweet. Thank you to my husband who is thoughtful enough and has the foresight to buy me not one, but TWO, big organic, dark chocolate bars to hide away from Isaiah as a special..only for me treat:). Nice.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Perfect Moments: catch 22
Today's moment moved like a snail...in slow motion
Today I was in a crowded place, filled with noise. Babies were crying, music was playing, people were laughing. Everything around me was in fast motion. Suddenly, everything slowed down and I was able to see each individual person separate from the others. I studied them all carefully and was able to catch a brief glimpse into each person's story---who they were, why they were there, what kind of life they had lived, what kind of life they might live in the future. It was a very surreal, vivid moment.
Even though it happened in a split second, I thought about it most of the rest of my day---what people were wearing, their features, the way they walked. Each person, innumerably different from the other, yet underneath it all, there are these common threads that keep the stitches of the fabric of humanity intact. Although it, for certain, happens in varying degrees and circumstances, every single person that passed me today has at one point experienced loss, kindness, cruelty, hope, hopelessness, elation, excitement, and a myriad of other states of being and emotions. It was in thinking on this when I felt like I had been given a great gift--the ability to see that there is not one of us that can say, "I am special." Because we all are...but that, in turn, means that we also are not. It is a catch 22. The greatest potential for peace lies in our ability to acknowledge and appreciate our differences while we increase our awareness of and reflection on our "sameness".
Today I was in a crowded place, filled with noise. Babies were crying, music was playing, people were laughing. Everything around me was in fast motion. Suddenly, everything slowed down and I was able to see each individual person separate from the others. I studied them all carefully and was able to catch a brief glimpse into each person's story---who they were, why they were there, what kind of life they had lived, what kind of life they might live in the future. It was a very surreal, vivid moment.
Even though it happened in a split second, I thought about it most of the rest of my day---what people were wearing, their features, the way they walked. Each person, innumerably different from the other, yet underneath it all, there are these common threads that keep the stitches of the fabric of humanity intact. Although it, for certain, happens in varying degrees and circumstances, every single person that passed me today has at one point experienced loss, kindness, cruelty, hope, hopelessness, elation, excitement, and a myriad of other states of being and emotions. It was in thinking on this when I felt like I had been given a great gift--the ability to see that there is not one of us that can say, "I am special." Because we all are...but that, in turn, means that we also are not. It is a catch 22. The greatest potential for peace lies in our ability to acknowledge and appreciate our differences while we increase our awareness of and reflection on our "sameness".
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Perfect Moments: Deep Conversation with a 3 year old
Today's moment....
My son and I were eating dinner at the table when I was telling him about things I used to do when I was little. Then, he asked me if he was there and I told him no...that he didn't even exist at that time. He paused for a moment, then said, "Oh, so I was in your belly huh?" And I tried to explain to him again that he was not around at all when I was little. He looked at me with a crazy look and threw up his hands. "Well, then where the heck was I?," he asked. He had this baffled look on his face like he could not understand how there was a time when he didn't exist. Then, I could see the wheels turning. He continued, "How did I get here?" I could tell he wasn't looking for a birds and bees explanation, he was asking in a more philosophical tone of voice. He wondered how could something ever not exist.
Instead of answering right away and giving him my assumptions on the topic, I let him sit for a while and sort it out in his head. He came up with a few hypotheses. 1) Maybe mommy and daddy said, "abra cadabra" and used magic to make him appear 2) Maybe he existed in space somewhere before he was born 3) Maybe he was inside some food and he came out like a seed 4) Maybe he was an alien before and now he was a boy.
After he gave some of his own thoughts on the subject, I gave him a few ideas of what other answers other people have come up with in the past (e.g. the big bang theory, creationism, evolution, via actions taken by various gods). I didn't want to tell him one was right and the others wrong. I did not want to give him the assumptions/ideas I have come up with over time. I just wanted him to get an idea of what was out there so that he could compare them to his own ideas and have something to think on. He listened and then, after a short time, he put his foot up in the air and said...."Mom, look at my stinky feet!" It made me laugh. Although I am glad to see my son is getting old and wise enough to think about the BIG questions, I am glad he can still, simply, be a silly kid.
My son and I were eating dinner at the table when I was telling him about things I used to do when I was little. Then, he asked me if he was there and I told him no...that he didn't even exist at that time. He paused for a moment, then said, "Oh, so I was in your belly huh?" And I tried to explain to him again that he was not around at all when I was little. He looked at me with a crazy look and threw up his hands. "Well, then where the heck was I?," he asked. He had this baffled look on his face like he could not understand how there was a time when he didn't exist. Then, I could see the wheels turning. He continued, "How did I get here?" I could tell he wasn't looking for a birds and bees explanation, he was asking in a more philosophical tone of voice. He wondered how could something ever not exist.
Instead of answering right away and giving him my assumptions on the topic, I let him sit for a while and sort it out in his head. He came up with a few hypotheses. 1) Maybe mommy and daddy said, "abra cadabra" and used magic to make him appear 2) Maybe he existed in space somewhere before he was born 3) Maybe he was inside some food and he came out like a seed 4) Maybe he was an alien before and now he was a boy.
After he gave some of his own thoughts on the subject, I gave him a few ideas of what other answers other people have come up with in the past (e.g. the big bang theory, creationism, evolution, via actions taken by various gods). I didn't want to tell him one was right and the others wrong. I did not want to give him the assumptions/ideas I have come up with over time. I just wanted him to get an idea of what was out there so that he could compare them to his own ideas and have something to think on. He listened and then, after a short time, he put his foot up in the air and said...."Mom, look at my stinky feet!" It made me laugh. Although I am glad to see my son is getting old and wise enough to think about the BIG questions, I am glad he can still, simply, be a silly kid.
Perfect Moments: The Goal
Today's moment....
I set out on what seemed like an impossible mission with my son today. The odds of us achieving our goal were pretty high, but I was DETERMINED to make it happen. So much so that I told my son that we were not going to give up on our goal until it was reached. With our minds set, we made our first attempt and were shut down immediately. We tried again and, again, were shot down. My son gave me a look that said, "Mom, it's ok, let's try another day", and it was tempting for me to take that as a way out. But, I couldn't do it. I had told him that we were not going home without having met our goal and if I didn't take it seriously on such a simple thing, I feared it would send a message to my son that he might apply to other, grown-up, goals later on. So, what started out as a fun adventure, suddenly became a "teachable moment" about sticking to your guns despite the odds and not losing hope. And so, with our hope, we went and gave it another shot and this time we were successful! After reflecting on what had happened, my son looked up and, with his big smile, said, "We did it, mom! Mission accomplished!" Now, if I told you what the goal was, you might think it was silly or not a big deal, but to my son, it was a big deal, so it doesn't really matter what it was. What does matter is that my son understands that goals should not be given up on even after failed attempts. Also, it made me think about how many other goals I have on MY list that I have yet to apply such unwavering determination to and it made me want to do so immediately, in order that my son might see that his mommy does what she says and will be inspired to do the same.
I set out on what seemed like an impossible mission with my son today. The odds of us achieving our goal were pretty high, but I was DETERMINED to make it happen. So much so that I told my son that we were not going to give up on our goal until it was reached. With our minds set, we made our first attempt and were shut down immediately. We tried again and, again, were shot down. My son gave me a look that said, "Mom, it's ok, let's try another day", and it was tempting for me to take that as a way out. But, I couldn't do it. I had told him that we were not going home without having met our goal and if I didn't take it seriously on such a simple thing, I feared it would send a message to my son that he might apply to other, grown-up, goals later on. So, what started out as a fun adventure, suddenly became a "teachable moment" about sticking to your guns despite the odds and not losing hope. And so, with our hope, we went and gave it another shot and this time we were successful! After reflecting on what had happened, my son looked up and, with his big smile, said, "We did it, mom! Mission accomplished!" Now, if I told you what the goal was, you might think it was silly or not a big deal, but to my son, it was a big deal, so it doesn't really matter what it was. What does matter is that my son understands that goals should not be given up on even after failed attempts. Also, it made me think about how many other goals I have on MY list that I have yet to apply such unwavering determination to and it made me want to do so immediately, in order that my son might see that his mommy does what she says and will be inspired to do the same.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Perfect Moments: My Bed
Today's moment....
After a loooong day of traveling (and a VERY bumpy flight), we finally arrived at our home. I dropped my bags, took a shower to get that air-travel-skin scrubbed off, and plopped down face first onto my bed. There's something about being gone for a while and then reuniting with your own bed! It is the ONLY one that has a corresponding indentation for every part of your body so that it holds you in just the right way:). What a feeling! Although I enjoyed our trip, I am so glad to be back and to be so fortunate as to have a comfortable place to get a good night's sleep:)
After a loooong day of traveling (and a VERY bumpy flight), we finally arrived at our home. I dropped my bags, took a shower to get that air-travel-skin scrubbed off, and plopped down face first onto my bed. There's something about being gone for a while and then reuniting with your own bed! It is the ONLY one that has a corresponding indentation for every part of your body so that it holds you in just the right way:). What a feeling! Although I enjoyed our trip, I am so glad to be back and to be so fortunate as to have a comfortable place to get a good night's sleep:)
Monday, May 23, 2011
Perfect Moments: Cafe du Monde
Today's moment.....
My husband made my day when he came back to our hotel from a walk holding a bag FULL of beignets and an ice cold chicory coffee drink. It is not only a tradition, but a MUST DO, when we come to New Orleans. If I could eat a bag of beignets everyday, buried under a mountain of powdered sugar, without it hurting my health and waistline...I WOULD!!! As they say, why do the things that are so bad for you, taste so darn good?! When we get back to Cali tomorrow, I'm going to have to answer for all my glutonous, "I'm on vacation", sins. But, did not worry about that today...today, I ate to my heart's content.
My husband made my day when he came back to our hotel from a walk holding a bag FULL of beignets and an ice cold chicory coffee drink. It is not only a tradition, but a MUST DO, when we come to New Orleans. If I could eat a bag of beignets everyday, buried under a mountain of powdered sugar, without it hurting my health and waistline...I WOULD!!! As they say, why do the things that are so bad for you, taste so darn good?! When we get back to Cali tomorrow, I'm going to have to answer for all my glutonous, "I'm on vacation", sins. But, did not worry about that today...today, I ate to my heart's content.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Perfect Moments: Freestylin'
Today's moment...
It was late, we were all tired from a long day with family. We were driving back to Mississippi from Alabama and my husband and I were trying to explain the art of freestyle rapping to our three year-old. After a run down on the basics, our son gave it his best shot and though the lyrics weren't very....sophisticated...he had the heart and the rhythm to make up for it. Just hanging out in the car, the three of us, and sharing music we all mutually enjoy has been one of the best moments of our trip thus far.
It was late, we were all tired from a long day with family. We were driving back to Mississippi from Alabama and my husband and I were trying to explain the art of freestyle rapping to our three year-old. After a run down on the basics, our son gave it his best shot and though the lyrics weren't very....sophisticated...he had the heart and the rhythm to make up for it. Just hanging out in the car, the three of us, and sharing music we all mutually enjoy has been one of the best moments of our trip thus far.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Perfect Moments: Spa Day
Today's moment....
Today was such a nice day! I spent it at the Beau Rivage Spa with my mother-in-law. We passed the time relaxing in the sauna, taking in the view of the Gulf Coast, walking along the bridge, and soaking sore muscles in a warm jacuzzi. But, the perfect moment of the day came when I was laying out in the sun looking at the gulf and the fine-grained, white sand along the beach with the warm breeze gently blowing over my body. Normally, in a moment like this, I would be preoccupied by wondering if my son was ok or if he might be missing me or be upset about me spending a day away. That wasn't the case today. I was able to just drink it all in with a free mind. It took me so long to realize that if I do not give myself times like these and do things I enjoy on my own every now and then, I am not only doing myself a disservice, but also my family. Why? Because when I return, I return with renewed enthusiasm for life, for my dreams--a renewed desire to be a better wife, mother, friend.
Today was such a nice day! I spent it at the Beau Rivage Spa with my mother-in-law. We passed the time relaxing in the sauna, taking in the view of the Gulf Coast, walking along the bridge, and soaking sore muscles in a warm jacuzzi. But, the perfect moment of the day came when I was laying out in the sun looking at the gulf and the fine-grained, white sand along the beach with the warm breeze gently blowing over my body. Normally, in a moment like this, I would be preoccupied by wondering if my son was ok or if he might be missing me or be upset about me spending a day away. That wasn't the case today. I was able to just drink it all in with a free mind. It took me so long to realize that if I do not give myself times like these and do things I enjoy on my own every now and then, I am not only doing myself a disservice, but also my family. Why? Because when I return, I return with renewed enthusiasm for life, for my dreams--a renewed desire to be a better wife, mother, friend.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Perfect Moments: Young Love, Revisited
Today's moment...
One of the reasons why I love coming to visit our family down South is that it is one of the very few times my husband and I get to go out without our son. I love my son, think about him all the time...even when we are out...but, every parent understands that feeling you get when you and your spouse get to reconnect on a one-on-one level and devote our full, undivided attention to one another. It may be just me....but, at first, I always feel a bit odd--don't know exactly what to do. It is like I have to remember how to turn off the "mommy" switch and just be the Monica I was when my husband and I first got together. Though I have changed... grown up a bit...in many ways I am still that girl. Eventually, we find the groove again and for a moment...a brief, but beautiful, moment...we are the young lovers once more. More than content to be in each other's company, to simply be near each other. We hold hands and give each other those gentle touches that, at the start, would send chills down our spine....and are pleasantly surprised to find they still do.
Life tries its darndest to trip us up, keep us too busy or too complacent to remember just how incredible our spouses are. But we have to do what we can, when we can, to slow it down enough to catch our breath and breath new life into, invigorate, our relationships...to remember them as they were when love was new while, at the same time, deepen our appreciation for who our spouses have become and how the roots of our love have grown deeper with the passing of time.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Perfect Moments: Apple bottom jeans, boots wit da ferrr
Today's moment came courtesy of none other but the people who started the Zumba craze and the "king" of auto-tune....Mr. T-Pain. Had he not put out this superficial yet moving piece of music, I would have never had the following picture in my mind to make me laugh and smile for years to come!
Picture this:
A room full of good ol' Bible Belt, church-goin' Mississippi women, T-Pain's "Apple-Bottom Jeans" song blaring out the speakers, AND.... my 50 somethin' year-old mother-in-law giving "her big booty a smack" and "hit[ting] the floor, next thing you know, [she got] low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low". I couldn't help but laugh inside, thinking "this woman's gonna' get toooo low and is going to need ME to help her back up!"
Two things to take away from this moment:
1. The revelation that Southern women can, surprisingly, do Latin moves some justice
2. A memory that is sure to cheer me up should I be visited by a rainy day in the future
Picture this:
A room full of good ol' Bible Belt, church-goin' Mississippi women, T-Pain's "Apple-Bottom Jeans" song blaring out the speakers, AND.... my 50 somethin' year-old mother-in-law giving "her big booty a smack" and "hit[ting] the floor, next thing you know, [she got] low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low". I couldn't help but laugh inside, thinking "this woman's gonna' get toooo low and is going to need ME to help her back up!"
Two things to take away from this moment:
1. The revelation that Southern women can, surprisingly, do Latin moves some justice
2. A memory that is sure to cheer me up should I be visited by a rainy day in the future
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Perfect Moments: Southern Sunset
Today's moment....
Me, sitting on the front porch, watching my son help his Grandma out by watering her lawn for her. Their two opposing silhouettes in the foreground and a Southern peach sunset in the background. The silent sound of empty country roads, accompanied by the gentle beating of a grateful heart.
Me, sitting on the front porch, watching my son help his Grandma out by watering her lawn for her. Their two opposing silhouettes in the foreground and a Southern peach sunset in the background. The silent sound of empty country roads, accompanied by the gentle beating of a grateful heart.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Perfect Moments: Home
Today's moment....
Today we traveled all day long from our home in California to get to New Orleans. The perfect moment came when we stepped out of the Louis Armstrong airport in NOLA and felt that sweet, humid, Southern evening breeze. Some may complain of the humidity down here but, to me, it is like a warm blanket welcoming me to a place that in many ways feels more like "home" than home to me. I love it here. They grow some good men...and I think I might have been been a Southerner in a past life because the food here just suits me soooo well:)!!! Down here life is slow....but, not in a bad way. Just as it is with their cooking, the slower you let it come to a simmer, the more developed the flavor. The flavor of the South is charm and soul mixed in with a pinch of humility, and a heap full of warmth. Feels good to be home.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Perfect Moments: Pure Luck
Today I read something that completely blew me away. There was an article on Yahoo about the rape of women in the Congo. EVERY DAY (when averaged out) there are 1, 152 women raped (approx. 48 an hour---to read the article see http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110512/ap_on_re_af/af_congo_rape. Also, see http://www.msmagazine.com/spring2005/congo.asp on what one woman, personally affected by the war has gone through...caution..it is very graphic). And that is a conservative number as many women do not report their rape to someone. This is devastatingly horrific to me, not only as a woman, but as a human. If this doesn't shake you, I don't know what will. I just think to myself, "What in the world can I do?" Sex violence has been a part of war-torn countries for centuries, but I cannot simply accept it as the way things are. Awareness, I think, is the first step. Sharing that awareness with others, the next. After that? Still thinking on that.
Although I realize that picking this article as the "Perfect Moment" of the day seems out of line, let me explain. When I read articles like these about people across the globe, it hurts me. But, in that hurt, I find a reason to be thankful. I am thankful for the hurt because it shows me that I, like all of us, am connected to everyone else....even people a world away. It reminds me of the very basic needs that we all share and makes me think about the hows and whys. How did I happen to be born in such a different condition from these women in the Congo? Why? It was not because I am better than them. It was not because I am from a blessed people and they from a cursed. It is out of pure chance....at least this is my thinking on this. Some may disagree. But, I really do believe that it is possible, had the events of history been different, that I could have been the one born in a country where the rape of women is so commonplace. Coming from this perspective... this belief of the way people are connected, it is extremely difficult for me to support wars, ours or theirs, as in any war, people---PEOPLE!!!--individuals...like me (most, of whom, are innocent) die. Because it could just as easily be me.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Perfect Moments: A Quiet Room
Today's perfect moment is actually happening right now as I write this. My son is asleep, the laundry is in the dryer, I am on my comfy bed, and the lights are all turned off. I looooooove quiet. I always have. I love that the only sound I can hear right now is my fingers tapping on the keyboard. Silence has played such an incredibly important part in the maintenance of my sanity over the years. It may sound strange, but when I am all alone in a dark, quiet space, that is when I feel the most connected to everything and everyone around me. It is when I think the best thoughts and am visited by my dear friends Inspiration and Strength. We all mingle for a while, catching up on old news and making plans together for the future. They stay until the noise of life returns and becomes so loud that they cannot bear it any longer. They hide away for a time until I make my way into the stillness once more. Then, we meet again, our friendship renewed--my passions returned.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Perfect Moments: The Ducks
When I was a little girl, my bed was situated right by the window and every morning I would wake up to the sound of sparrows rustling around in the leaves of the cherry trees in the yard. To me, those little birds were my friends coming to say hello and believing myself to be some kind of real-life Snow White, I would actually sit there and try to talk to them and say hello back to them. I swore that they could understand me and that at any minute they would come near, land on my outstretched arms, and sing me a song to start off my day (yes, I realize by sharing this that I am admitting to being somewhat of a strange child:) ). Since then, I have always had a fondness for little, living creatures, and for nature, in general.
Today's perfect moment came when my son and I were at the park. We had flown a kite, thrown some tennis balls around, and then decided to go visit the ducks. Since it is Spring, there are several mother-father pairs of ducks swimming around with their newly-hatched ducklings. I think ducklings are possibly the most adorable newbies in the bird family. Anyway, my son wanted to get a closer look (as usual). So, I explained to him that the mommy duck would not let us get close to the babies if she thought we were there to harm them and that we would have to be very still and calm and tell the mommy that we didn't want to hurt her babies, we just wanted to see how they are learning to swim better. And that is exactly what we did. While my son started whispering softly to the mommy duck, she looked at him and gave a soft whisper of a quack in response as if to say, "Ok, you can look, but if you get too close...beware." The ducklings came very close to us and we laughed as we watched them splash around and bicker with each other, all the while keeping a close eye on the mommy duck who, in turn, was keeping a close eye on us. Watching my son and hearing him talk to the ducklings and their mommy was what brought to memory those times when I saw the sparrows outside my window as a little girl....good, simple moments. And, it made me happy to think that my son (if he is fortunate enough to live a full life and have his own children) might be reminded of today and our encounter with the ducks by his own kids one day. It is the cyclical nature of things that continues to make new things old and old things new. It is a fascinating phenomena to observe.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Perfect Moments: A Change of Plans
Well, today is Mother's Day and as is customary for many, my husband, son, and I set out looking for a nice, Mother's Day meal. We woke up and decided to go to a particular brunch, but when we got there, we were told that the next available opening wasn't for another few hours!!! Then, we tried three other places and ran into the same problem. Apparently there are a lot of people who actually plan in advance and do reservations (what kind of people do that!!:) ). Well, we thought about giving up, but we happened to stumble upon a big line of people and followed the line to see what it lead to. To our surprise, it was a special, only on Mother's Day, event at the Disneyland Hotel. It was more than a buffet, there was a live band, bottomless champagne, and photo ops with Disney characters. It turned out to be such a decadent way to spend a Mother's Day. The important point here, for me, is sometimes you don't get what you plan for, sometimes you get more. And, sometimes you get less. But, in either case, we have EVERYTHING we need-- we are alive, we have food, we have clean water, freedom of speech, the ability to think and feel "love" or connection, and the list goes on and on and on if we pause long enough to read it.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Perfect Moment: The High
Went for a run today after having skipped a few days. That first mile after having skipped for a bit is always a killer. But, then after a certain point...something magical happens. You hit "the high" where you are in your own little world and there are no thoughts to distract or worry you. You feel like the best, strongest version of yourself....clarity of mind...like you could run forever and never tire. You hear, only your breath. You feel, only the ground beneath you. It is a wonderful, mind-freeing activity, which if you are someone like me and have difficulty turning off your over-thinking tendency, is a life saver. So thankful to have all my limbs and organs working properly enough for me to experience this kind of liberation. Thankful, also, for the time.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Perfect Moments: Me vs. The Bee
Today's perfect moment....
Today, my husband, son, and I went on an outing for the evening. As we were waiting in line, my son was dancing around (as usual) and singing...excited to be out and about. Suddenly, I noticed something crawling on the back of shirt. I got a closer look and realized it was a BEE!....precariously positioned an inch away from my son's neck. Now, if you know me....you should know that my usual response in such a situation would be ..."AAAAAHHHHH!"....and then, I would be running like a wild woman the opposite direction. Well, today...when I saw that the bee was so close to causing my son some serious pain, I freaked for a slight moment, but quickly regained composure and pretended like nothing was wrong so as not to alarm my son and cause him to move. Then, I flicked the bee off of him with my finger!! My son escaped, no sting and no idea that I had just saved his LIFE!!:)
ok, well...that's exaggerating a bit...but anyway
The point...the reason WHY this is the perfect moment of the day today...is, in that moment I thought of someone other than myself...at least, consciously, it seemed that way. Everything in me wanted to scream!!!! and get away, but I couldn't let my son get hurt. In that moment, I felt like such a MOM...fitting for this week, I guess. I will admit that I don't always feel like a MOM. Sometimes I have no idea what the hell I'm doing, sometimes I feel like I'm the greatest mom there ever was:). But, I know this....I would do everything in my power to protect my son from harm....I KNOW it. This is one of only a few things I can say that I am CERTAIN of. It is amazing... baffling even. The special bond between a parent and child...in most cases...is one of the things that makes it harder to accept and embrace the fact that this life will come to an end and with it, all the precious bonds we've experienced with the people in it. It is these moments when I am reminded to appreciate them while I can.
Today, my husband, son, and I went on an outing for the evening. As we were waiting in line, my son was dancing around (as usual) and singing...excited to be out and about. Suddenly, I noticed something crawling on the back of shirt. I got a closer look and realized it was a BEE!....precariously positioned an inch away from my son's neck. Now, if you know me....you should know that my usual response in such a situation would be ..."AAAAAHHHHH!"....and then, I would be running like a wild woman the opposite direction. Well, today...when I saw that the bee was so close to causing my son some serious pain, I freaked for a slight moment, but quickly regained composure and pretended like nothing was wrong so as not to alarm my son and cause him to move. Then, I flicked the bee off of him with my finger!! My son escaped, no sting and no idea that I had just saved his LIFE!!:)
ok, well...that's exaggerating a bit...but anyway
The point...the reason WHY this is the perfect moment of the day today...is, in that moment I thought of someone other than myself...at least, consciously, it seemed that way. Everything in me wanted to scream!!!! and get away, but I couldn't let my son get hurt. In that moment, I felt like such a MOM...fitting for this week, I guess. I will admit that I don't always feel like a MOM. Sometimes I have no idea what the hell I'm doing, sometimes I feel like I'm the greatest mom there ever was:). But, I know this....I would do everything in my power to protect my son from harm....I KNOW it. This is one of only a few things I can say that I am CERTAIN of. It is amazing... baffling even. The special bond between a parent and child...in most cases...is one of the things that makes it harder to accept and embrace the fact that this life will come to an end and with it, all the precious bonds we've experienced with the people in it. It is these moments when I am reminded to appreciate them while I can.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Perfect Moments: Sitting Across from a Man
Honestly, I could have chosen from many moments today since I spent the entire day with my son at a beautiful private beach on a absolutely wonderful, sunny California day. We made sand castles, looked for shells, examined some sea anemone, splashed in icy cool waves, and played hopscotch in the sand.
But, my perfect moment...since I've limited this month's exercise to one....came when we got home.
My son, asleep in his room. My husband, working on the computer. Me, sitting across the table from him trying to pretend like I'm doing something, when really I am staring at my husband from the corner of my eye thinking, "That man is fine!" We've been together since 2001 and he is still, without a doubt, hands down, the sexiest man I have ever seen! Understand what I mean by sexy---I could go into great detail about every physical feature (there are plenty, but my momma might read this:) ) that I am crazy about....but more than that....there is:
strong....swagger on 10---confidence and competence oozing out of every pore....soul....integrity...a warrior...a real, no excuses, always takes care of his business kind of man.....
So blessed, happy to have met this man a little over a decade ago and to have seen my appreciation for what a masterpiece he is only increase with the years....
Perfect!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
The Perfect Moment
I have been neglecting you, dear blog. Apologize, I do (my son is really into Star Wars right now:) ). But, it is a new month, a new day! I will be spending the month of May sharing my "perfect moment" of each day. By perfect moment, I mean--the times when the world stops turning for a brief second, long enough for you to see yourself and everything around you more fully and in silent stillness, the beauty in your life comes into focus and you experience the most profound sense of thankfulness.
Today's moment...
My son and I, after having a picnic on the City Hall lawn across the street, lying down on the grass, looking up at the sky, watching a weakened Santa Ana wind make the trees around us gracefully dance from side-to-side. The look of pure delight on my son's face accompanied by his gleeful giggle was reminiscent of the one he would send forth forcefully when he was still not yet able to talk, but was teeming with a desperate desire to communicate his excitement over newfound discoveries. Seeing him so genuinely happy, by something some may think so simple, made my heart swell.
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