Showing posts with label purpose. Show all posts
Showing posts with label purpose. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Even if it means nothing, it still means something


The Meanings

When she was only nine years old
Her mother died and her dad grew cold
He drank his pain down late at night
It's bitter taste provoked, in him, a fight
Since Death was nowhere to be found
It was her face that he would pound
He'd yell and say he wished she'd go
So away she went, so did her soul

16 years old, her soul still missing
She tried to find it in boys and kissing
But neither could undo the harm
Done by the first man who'd held her in arms
The pain her father tried to drink away
Was the same pain that drove those boys away
She mourned for her soul, day and night
Thought, "If men can't save me, a baby might"

She's 29 now, four kids later
And she has yet to find her savior
Still looking for what she once had
Her story remains broken and sad
But she is not the only one
Walking dead under the sun
The world is full of soulless beings
In relentless pursuit of "the meanings"

I honestly think that one of the cruelest, most insensitive things to say to someone who has just lost a loved one or has gone through something traumatic is, "Everything happens for a reason" (or everything has a purpose or meaning). I do not believe this, not one little bit. In fact, I think the opposite sounds more true to me. Nothing happens for a meaning and nothing has meaning. The only meaning anything ever has is one that we have given it. For example, what is the meaning of all the innocent Iraqi and Afghanistan children dying EVERY day in the war (of course, you won't hear about those or see the pictures of their dead bodies strewn across the street on American mainstream media outlets, so some of you may have no idea what I'm talking about here)? What could possibly be a reason for this? What purpose? What purpose or meaning is there in kids (like the ones in the group home I used to work in) being sexually and physically abused by their own family, their own parents? What about a four year old getting shot and killed in the crosshairs of gang activity? When you think about these things, the idea that these things happen for a purpose sounds absolutely absurd! Or, at least, it should. And yet, how many times do we hear it, "everything happens for a reason."

Now, there is one way to think about it, I think, where the statement could make sense. That is, even though there may be no real or inherent purpose to an event, everyone who experiences or hears about the event does end up assigning to the event their own interpretation. In short, we create our own meanings. So, in this way, everything DOES have a purpose, but the purpose (or interpretation assigned to it) is different for every person involved. To clarify...let's take the war. Question five people on the street about the purpose/meaning of the war and you will, definitively, get five completely different answers. To each of these five people, there is A MEANING (e.g., it's so America can gain control of the oil reserves in the Middle East, it is to settle an old score, it is to vanquish the "infidels", it is "for the honor God", it is to line the pockets of the ruling, banker, secret society and further consolidate their control and power over the masses, and so on and so on) ...but, which meaning is "THE MEANING?" This is impossible to answer because you cannot convince all five people to hold the same interpretation or purpose....so if it means EVERYTHING, then it must ultimately mean NOTHING, right? Have I gone down the rabbit hole too far?? Je ne sais pas (you can thank Mrs. Burke, my high school French teacher for that brief, but awesome, foray into foreign languages!:) ).

As my old friend, Mel, used to say...Anywho....just had this on my mind and this is the place I chose to put it for now. A dieu mon amies (hey, there it is again!).

Friday, July 30, 2010

Get'ur done? Get'ur done right? ...is there such a thing as right?



In writing this novel (or is it a novelette?), there have been a few questions that have come up in my mind that I have discovered don't really matter. First, how long should the book be? I was very concerned at the beginning of this project about what is an acceptable length for the book. I researched other books that were written for the same audience, I consulted with other people who I know have written their own books, and I read a few articles by established writers in writing magazines. The general consensus is...there is no consensus. It doesn't matter how long the book is...what DOES matter is whether or not the story is complete and believable.

If I can tell my story and get my message across in less than 200 pages...then, that is that. There is no need to add "fluff" simply to make the book fatter. It is a waste and, especially with a younger audience, I think it is most important for me to be straightforward and as concise as I can be. Also, I have found it extremely important for the pieces of the novel to be believable---they have to fit together nicely. For example, the other day I finished the last few pages of a chapter in the middle of the day when I was half way falling asleep (yes, I'm a grown woman who needs naps and I'm not ashamed!). After falling asleep all the way and then waking up, I went back over what I had just written and realized it was CRAP!!! There was something about it that just didn't fit...I didn't believe it and if I don't believe my own stuff...it is certain no one else will. So, as painful as it was for me to completely scrap a few pages and start over, it was something I had to do. I realize, too, that the pain I felt then is only beginning. This is the FIRST DRAFT. There are probably many more pieces I'm going to have to scrap (even pieces that I'm really in love with) and rewrite as I comb through it as a whole and have others do the same. I guess that is just the inevitable part of the process :(.

That brings me to another question that, to me, doesn't matter. How many drafts do you need to do? WHO KNOWS?? It could be one, three, even twenty or more. I've heard of famous writers who had to rewrite their stuff over fifty times. Why? Probably mostly because someone made them (an editor, agent, etc.). Also, probably because, with writing, there is always room for improvement. There is always a better word choice, a more detailed description, a more intriguing plot point, or a way to make your characters even more engaging and real. Which makes me wonder....if it could always be better, how do you know when to stop yourself from making improvements and just get the darn thing done? I wonder how many great writers are out there that we will never know of because they've gotten swallowed up by the process of writing and, thus, will never produce a finished product? And what about the writers who do finish a piece of work, but do so knowing it is not the best they could have produced? Which position is better? Or are they the same?

These are questions that have been popping up as I go through the process of getting this novel out. I've got about three more chapters left and I cannot wait to be done. However, I also know that when I'm "done", I'm not really going to be done! Why am I doing this again??? Oh yeah. That's right. Rather than make myself crazy with thinking about all the things that must be done...all the hoops that have yet to be jumped through...I have to make sure I keep the PURPOSE at the forefront of my mind. Without that, I will most definitely be in danger of losing hope and vision in the face of the daunting obstacles that are likely awaiting me just around the corner.