Perfect Moments: Young Love, Revisited

Today's moment...

One of the reasons why I love coming to visit our family down South is that it is one of the very few times my husband and I get to go out without our son. I love my son, think about him all the time...even when we are out...but, every parent understands that feeling you get when you and your spouse get to reconnect on a one-on-one level and devote our full, undivided attention to one another. It may be just me....but, at first, I always feel a bit odd--don't know exactly what to do. It is like I have to remember how to turn off the "mommy" switch and just be the Monica I was when my husband and I first got together. Though I have changed... grown up a bit...in many ways I am still that girl. Eventually, we find the groove again and for a moment...a brief, but beautiful, moment...we are the young lovers once more. More than content to be in each other's company, to simply be near each other. We hold hands and give each other those gentle touches that, at the start, would send chills down our spine....and are pleasantly surprised to find they still do.

Life tries its darndest to trip us up, keep us too busy or too complacent to remember just how incredible our spouses are. But we have to do what we can, when we can, to slow it down enough to catch our breath and breath new life into, invigorate, our relationships...to remember them as they were when love was new while, at the same time, deepen our appreciation for who our spouses have become and how the roots of our love have grown deeper with the passing of time.

Perfect Moments: A Change of Plans

Well, today is Mother's Day and as is customary for many, my husband, son, and I set out looking for a nice, Mother's Day meal. We woke up and decided to go to a particular brunch, but when we got there, we were told that the next available opening wasn't for another few hours!!! Then, we tried three other places and ran into the same problem. Apparently there are a lot of people who actually plan in advance and do reservations (what kind of people do that!!:) ). Well, we thought about giving up, but we happened to stumble upon a big line of people and followed the line to see what it lead to. To our surprise, it was a special, only on Mother's Day, event at the Disneyland Hotel. It was more than a buffet, there was a live band, bottomless champagne, and photo ops with Disney characters. It turned out to be such a decadent way to spend a Mother's Day. The important point here, for me, is sometimes you don't get what you plan for, sometimes you get more. And, sometimes you get less. But, in either case, we have EVERYTHING we need-- we are alive, we have food, we have clean water, freedom of speech, the ability to think and feel "love" or connection, and the list goes on and on and on if we pause long enough to read it.

Perfect Moments: Me vs. The Bee

Today's perfect moment....



Today, my husband, son, and I went on an outing for the evening. As we were waiting in line, my son was dancing around (as usual) and singing...excited to be out and about. Suddenly, I noticed something crawling on the back of shirt. I got a closer look and realized it was a BEE!....precariously positioned an inch away from my son's neck. Now, if you know me....you should know that my usual response in such a situation would be ..."AAAAAHHHHH!"....and then, I would be running like a wild woman the opposite direction. Well, today...when I saw that the bee was so close to causing my son some serious pain, I freaked for a slight moment, but quickly regained composure and pretended like nothing was wrong so as not to alarm my son and cause him to move. Then, I flicked the bee off of him with my finger!! My son escaped, no sting and no idea that I had just saved his LIFE!!:)

ok, well...that's exaggerating a bit...but anyway

The point...the reason WHY this is the perfect moment of the day today...is, in that moment I thought of someone other than myself...at least, consciously, it seemed that way. Everything in me wanted to scream!!!! and get away, but I couldn't let my son get hurt. In that moment, I felt like such a MOM...fitting for this week, I guess. I will admit that I don't always feel like a MOM. Sometimes I have no idea what the hell I'm doing, sometimes I feel like I'm the greatest mom there ever was:). But, I know this....I would do everything in my power to protect my son from harm....I KNOW it. This is one of only a few things I can say that I am CERTAIN of. It is amazing... baffling even. The special bond between a parent and child...in most cases...is one of the things that makes it harder to accept and embrace the fact that this life will come to an end and with it, all the precious bonds we've experienced with the people in it. It is these moments when I am reminded to appreciate them while I can.

Life After Motherhood

This is for all the mommies out there! I had some things on my mind this morning and thought I'd post a little on that. I have been thinking about GOALS a lot lately. There are things I want to do, to accomplish in my life that aren't necessarily related to me being a mommy. I mean, it is true, I am a mommy....but that is not the all in all of who I am or what defines me. Before I was a mommy, I was a Monica...and I still am a Monica. So, my purpose or goals for my life should naturally extend beyond just how great of a mommy I want to be. More than that, I want to be a great, well-rounded PERSON who GIVES/CONTRIBUTES to something outside of myself and leaves a legacy that inspires people. That is one of my ultimate goals and there are countless others (traveling across Europe, starting my own learning center, learning to ballroom dance, completing a marathon, taking a foodie tour of America, etc., etc.)

Many times, I find myself struggling to not feel guilty about having a life outside of being a mommy and devoting time to those goals. Like the past couple of days, for example, I've been spending so much time with my son that it actually feels wrong to even think about stealing time away for myself to blog, to write (or is that an excuse...oops!). But, something someone once told me has stuck with me. She said, "What better thing could we do for our children and our husbands than to lead a productive, successful life -- to be a model of how to do that for our children?" Everyone has their own definition of what a productive, successful life means, what it looks like. Even our own definitions change from year to year, maybe even day to day. Some people have visions of changing the world, others aim to devote and invest time in their immediate sphere of influence (family, friends, neighbors). Are either of these greater or lesser? No, at least I do not think so. The thing is this.... what makes us happy, what drives us, what is our purpose? Do we have goals that are centered around that purpose so that we are always moving forward, getting better, improving, growing? Without goals or a purpose, we stay in one spot all of our lives...and I really do not think that is how life is meant to be lived.

So, time for some audience participation. My questions to you are: 1) What are your thoughts on guilt and finding balance between being a mom and being a person (for the ladies, although men might have good insight--they can surprise you from time to time)? 2) Do you have goals outside of motherhood and if so, 3) Would you be willing to share some of those by commenting? I thought it might be good to put down one goal you want to accomplish for this week, one goal for the next couple of months, and one goal for the year. To break the ice...I'll go first :)

A side note: In my teacher training I learned that its important to AIM HIGH with your goals. Basically, you will only go as far as you reach for, so might as well AIM HIGH:)

This week: To get at least 5 intense workouts/runs in by next Wed.

This month: To finish writing my book (two chapters left!!!!)

This year: To have completed my book and published it (as an audiobook, electronically, and as a hard copy), begun a full-fledged marketing campaign, and have had a "release party" on or by my 30th birthday.