Perfect Moments: Deep Conversation with a 3 year old

Today's moment....



My son and I were eating dinner at the table when I was telling him about things I used to do when I was little. Then, he asked me if he was there and I told him no...that he didn't even exist at that time. He paused for a moment, then said, "Oh, so I was in your belly huh?" And I tried to explain to him again that he was not around at all when I was little. He looked at me with a crazy look and threw up his hands. "Well, then where the heck was I?," he asked. He had this baffled look on his face like he could not understand how there was a time when he didn't exist. Then, I could see the wheels turning. He continued, "How did I get here?" I could tell he wasn't looking for a birds and bees explanation, he was asking in a more philosophical tone of voice. He wondered how could something ever not exist.

Instead of answering right away and giving him my assumptions on the topic, I let him sit for a while and sort it out in his head. He came up with a few hypotheses. 1) Maybe mommy and daddy said, "abra cadabra" and used magic to make him appear 2) Maybe he existed in space somewhere before he was born 3) Maybe he was inside some food and he came out like a seed 4) Maybe he was an alien before and now he was a boy.

After he gave some of his own thoughts on the subject, I gave him a few ideas of what other answers other people have come up with in the past (e.g. the big bang theory, creationism, evolution, via actions taken by various gods). I didn't want to tell him one was right and the others wrong. I did not want to give him the assumptions/ideas I have come up with over time. I just wanted him to get an idea of what was out there so that he could compare them to his own ideas and have something to think on. He listened and then, after a short time, he put his foot up in the air and said...."Mom, look at my stinky feet!" It made me laugh. Although I am glad to see my son is getting old and wise enough to think about the BIG questions, I am glad he can still, simply, be a silly kid.

Get'ur done? Get'ur done right? ...is there such a thing as right?

In writing this novel (or is it a novelette?), there have been a few questions that have come up in my mind that I have discovered don't really matter. First, how long should the book be? I was very concerned at the beginning of this project about what is an acceptable length for the book. I researched other books that were written for the same audience, I consulted with other people who I know have written their own books, and I read a few articles by established writers in writing magazines. The general consensus is...there is no consensus. It doesn't matter how long the book is...what DOES matter is whether or not the story is complete and believable.

If I can tell my story and get my message across in less than 200 pages...then, that is that. There is no need to add "fluff" simply to make the book fatter. It is a waste and, especially with a younger audience, I think it is most important for me to be straightforward and as concise as I can be. Also, I have found it extremely important for the pieces of the novel to be believable---they have to fit together nicely. For example, the other day I finished the last few pages of a chapter in the middle of the day when I was half way falling asleep (yes, I'm a grown woman who needs naps and I'm not ashamed!). After falling asleep all the way and then waking up, I went back over what I had just written and realized it was CRAP!!! There was something about it that just didn't fit...I didn't believe it and if I don't believe my own stuff...it is certain no one else will. So, as painful as it was for me to completely scrap a few pages and start over, it was something I had to do. I realize, too, that the pain I felt then is only beginning. This is the FIRST DRAFT. There are probably many more pieces I'm going to have to scrap (even pieces that I'm really in love with) and rewrite as I comb through it as a whole and have others do the same. I guess that is just the inevitable part of the process :(.

That brings me to another question that, to me, doesn't matter. How many drafts do you need to do? WHO KNOWS?? It could be one, three, even twenty or more. I've heard of famous writers who had to rewrite their stuff over fifty times. Why? Probably mostly because someone made them (an editor, agent, etc.). Also, probably because, with writing, there is always room for improvement. There is always a better word choice, a more detailed description, a more intriguing plot point, or a way to make your characters even more engaging and real. Which makes me wonder....if it could always be better, how do you know when to stop yourself from making improvements and just get the darn thing done? I wonder how many great writers are out there that we will never know of because they've gotten swallowed up by the process of writing and, thus, will never produce a finished product? And what about the writers who do finish a piece of work, but do so knowing it is not the best they could have produced? Which position is better? Or are they the same?

These are questions that have been popping up as I go through the process of getting this novel out. I've got about three more chapters left and I cannot wait to be done. However, I also know that when I'm "done", I'm not really going to be done! Why am I doing this again??? Oh yeah. That's right. Rather than make myself crazy with thinking about all the things that must be done...all the hoops that have yet to be jumped through...I have to make sure I keep the PURPOSE at the forefront of my mind. Without that, I will most definitely be in danger of losing hope and vision in the face of the daunting obstacles that are likely awaiting me just around the corner.