Perfect Moments: Pure Luck

Today I read something that completely blew me away. There was an article on Yahoo about the rape of women in the Congo. EVERY DAY (when averaged out) there are 1, 152 women raped (approx. 48 an hour---to read the article see http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110512/ap_on_re_af/af_congo_rape. Also, see http://www.msmagazine.com/spring2005/congo.asp on what one woman, personally affected by the war has gone through...caution..it is very graphic). And that is a conservative number as many women do not report their rape to someone. This is devastatingly horrific to me, not only as a woman, but as a human. If this doesn't shake you, I don't know what will. I just think to myself, "What in the world can I do?" Sex violence has been a part of war-torn countries for centuries, but I cannot simply accept it as the way things are. Awareness, I think, is the first step. Sharing that awareness with others, the next. After that? Still thinking on that.

Although I realize that picking this article as the "Perfect Moment" of the day seems out of line, let me explain. When I read articles like these about people across the globe, it hurts me. But, in that hurt, I find a reason to be thankful. I am thankful for the hurt because it shows me that I, like all of us, am connected to everyone else....even people a world away. It reminds me of the very basic needs that we all share and makes me think about the hows and whys. How did I happen to be born in such a different condition from these women in the Congo? Why? It was not because I am better than them. It was not because I am from a blessed people and they from a cursed. It is out of pure chance....at least this is my thinking on this. Some may disagree. But, I really do believe that it is possible, had the events of history been different, that I could have been the one born in a country where the rape of women is so commonplace. Coming from this perspective... this belief of the way people are connected, it is extremely difficult for me to support wars, ours or theirs, as in any war, people---PEOPLE!!!--individuals...like me (most, of whom, are innocent) die. Because it could just as easily be me.

Even if it means nothing, it still means something

The Meanings

When she was only nine years old
Her mother died and her dad grew cold
He drank his pain down late at night
It's bitter taste provoked, in him, a fight
Since Death was nowhere to be found
It was her face that he would pound
He'd yell and say he wished she'd go
So away she went, so did her soul

16 years old, her soul still missing
She tried to find it in boys and kissing
But neither could undo the harm
Done by the first man who'd held her in arms
The pain her father tried to drink away
Was the same pain that drove those boys away
She mourned for her soul, day and night
Thought, "If men can't save me, a baby might"

She's 29 now, four kids later
And she has yet to find her savior
Still looking for what she once had
Her story remains broken and sad
But she is not the only one
Walking dead under the sun
The world is full of soulless beings
In relentless pursuit of "the meanings"

I honestly think that one of the cruelest, most insensitive things to say to someone who has just lost a loved one or has gone through something traumatic is, "Everything happens for a reason" (or everything has a purpose or meaning). I do not believe this, not one little bit. In fact, I think the opposite sounds more true to me. Nothing happens for a meaning and nothing has meaning. The only meaning anything ever has is one that we have given it. For example, what is the meaning of all the innocent Iraqi and Afghanistan children dying EVERY day in the war (of course, you won't hear about those or see the pictures of their dead bodies strewn across the street on American mainstream media outlets, so some of you may have no idea what I'm talking about here)? What could possibly be a reason for this? What purpose? What purpose or meaning is there in kids (like the ones in the group home I used to work in) being sexually and physically abused by their own family, their own parents? What about a four year old getting shot and killed in the crosshairs of gang activity? When you think about these things, the idea that these things happen for a purpose sounds absolutely absurd! Or, at least, it should. And yet, how many times do we hear it, "everything happens for a reason."

Now, there is one way to think about it, I think, where the statement could make sense. That is, even though there may be no real or inherent purpose to an event, everyone who experiences or hears about the event does end up assigning to the event their own interpretation. In short, we create our own meanings. So, in this way, everything DOES have a purpose, but the purpose (or interpretation assigned to it) is different for every person involved. To clarify...let's take the war. Question five people on the street about the purpose/meaning of the war and you will, definitively, get five completely different answers. To each of these five people, there is A MEANING (e.g., it's so America can gain control of the oil reserves in the Middle East, it is to settle an old score, it is to vanquish the "infidels", it is "for the honor God", it is to line the pockets of the ruling, banker, secret society and further consolidate their control and power over the masses, and so on and so on) ...but, which meaning is "THE MEANING?" This is impossible to answer because you cannot convince all five people to hold the same interpretation or purpose....so if it means EVERYTHING, then it must ultimately mean NOTHING, right? Have I gone down the rabbit hole too far?? Je ne sais pas (you can thank Mrs. Burke, my high school French teacher for that brief, but awesome, foray into foreign languages!:) ).

As my old friend, Mel, used to say...Anywho....just had this on my mind and this is the place I chose to put it for now. A dieu mon amies (hey, there it is again!).